The Unknown

There is no end to the depth of uncertainty. I guess that's what freedom is...the ability to choose whatever you want to do, whenever you want to, no boundaries. :) In the rare moments such as ths one, I think of 'responsible freedom' with new respect and a deep appreciation of the concept and the institution that taught it. Hah...I want boundaries and to be told yes or no. Within reasonable parameters of course. Isn't that always where the push and pull lies?

There is a part of me that fears once I go back, life as I know it ends...no more being free, being reckless. Life becomes about responsibilities and being responsible to others. The other part of me thinks, that's crazy, and isn't being responsible also mean that I'm choosing the right way, being responsible doesn't mean I can't enjoy it as well. I fear I won't be able to return, to go back to what I experienced as fun, as seizing the day, as breathing in fresh air.

And then if I stay, I sense a staleness. A cog in the wheel. A normalcy.